Rewards....like training wheels

So, I have spent quite a bit of time coaching a classroom teacher on how to create a cooperative classroom. This teacher is soooooo kind, she boarders on permissive. I get the sense that she doesn't want her students to feel uncomfortable or stressed. (In the end, they all feel uncomfortable and stressed due to the lack of clear boundaries).



The last two weeks of school were coming up and the students were really pushing the teacher, each other and the rest of the staff to the limit. I was asked to come in and help the class get through the last two weeks in one piece. So, I decided to uses rewards. But not a one to one connection, more of a possibility to GET something. The teacher and I had small orange tickets to give out to the students when they were following directions, working hard, being helpful, or doing any thing that helped to create a calm atmosphere in the classroom. When we'd give the ticket to a student, we'd state what they were doing to get the orange chance ticket. Something like, "I appreciate ________ working quietly on their assignment" or "I'd like to thank _______ for helping your neighbor out on that assignment, that is so helpful". The shift in the classroom was amazing. The students sat up straighter, stayed seated longer, raised their hands, completed assignments, etc.



I believe in Positive Discipline, an Adlerian approach to teaching children helpful life skills instead of punishment. The Positive Discipline approach does not agree with rewards. The reason being is that children then behave in a certain way in order to GET the reward, they don't behave in the helpful manner simply because it is best for all involved. (I really agree with this!) I want my children to behave "appropriately" because internally they know it is the right thing to do, not because they'll get a toy, candy or money. However, in this situation, I learned something.



In this situation, the teacher was not clear or consistent with letting her students know what was expected of them. As simpl as: how to ask a question (raise hands), what working position looks like (seated, chair pulled in, all 4 feet on the ground), or what to do when finished with an assignment (read a book, complete a different assignment, or draw). Giving the teacher little orange tickets and asking her to compliment students when they were being helpful, clarified for the teacher what she was looking for. The teacher became much more consistent at giving compliments, asking for what she wanted, and knowing what she wanted. It was so interesting. The teacher became more clear and specific on directions and thus the students followed more often.



So, now my perspective of rewards is that they can be like training wheels. When children advance to a two wheeled bike, they need strong support, a whole lot of the time, but just for a little while. As they become more comfortable with what is required to balance on a two wheeled bike AND become more skilled at it, the children want the training wheels lifted higher. (Only to be there in an emergency). And once they really feel their own weight, can balance, take turns, stop and go pretty well, what do they say? "MOM, DAD, please get these training wheels off!"



I'm feeling the same way with rewards. They might be a good beginning for grown-up and children. Rewards help the adult to be aware of the situation, to notice the behaviors they really want, and helps with consistent follow through. For the child, rewards are a strong support, a whole lot of the time, until they begin to feel and understand what is required of them. As they become more skilled and feel capable of the new behavior or task.... someone will say, "HEY, please stop the rewards, you can do this on your own..... or I can do this on my own!"



Think of the different areas of your life that you'd like to have training wheels for???